once upon a time....
First entry,after kene hacked yang menyebabkan aq agak trauma ngan dunia blogger. For...how many months, i just wandering here and there, reading other bloggers' articles, following, commenting, clicking, what else?
i have a story to share because i love to share things slagi boleyh di'share' ler.
Setelah mengharungi SPM dengan jayanya..Alhamdulillah, hidup aq jadik huru hara. semua yang aq rancang x menjadi dan aq tersadai kat tingkatan 6 untuk sebulan. Benda dh nak jadik kan, aq boleyh wat apa...org laen yg x seberapa boleyh je lpas msuk matriks, aq neyh....matriks pun x lpas. Org dok tnya, sampai aq penat nk jawab...Mgkn klw aq jawab x der rezeki, mungkin kah mereka akan menutup mulut mereka. Berbaldi2 air mata aq habiskan, keep asking him, why are U doing this to me? Aq dh kata kt diri aq, jgn letakkan harapan yg tggi, so..msa dpt result tuh, aq x der lah kecewa sgt sbb mmw dh dpt insticnt yg stret A bukan milik aq wlwpown rumours berterbangan d sana sini mengatakan aq one of them. Masalahnye, msa aq dpt tw aq kene reject oleh pertubuhan matriks m'sia semalaya, drummm....air mata mencurah-curah ke ladang gandum...kenapa? sebab aq x expect benda neyh jadik. i believe there is a mistake, so aq check lg, mmg muktamad, same goes to kemasukan ipta. what the heaven???
so, akhirnya..aq tersadai kt tingkatan 6, Pra U1 bersama-sama dengan 30 lebih pelajar yang kemudiannya semakin berkurang dan berkurang. kenapa? sebab ramai org ckp, aliran sains tingkatan 6 x der harapan. hah???? awat?? biar btol??? lantak korg laarrr.... yg penting, mmg Allah takdirkan aq kt sini, so, what i have to do is to endure it. nothing is impossible (cliche pnye ayat). i'm enjoying every moment of my life with them, terserempak lak ngan kwn skoleh rendah aq.hahhaaaaaaaaa, x klakar pown. yeah. Then, one day, my friend told me that i have been chosen to pursue my .....(education) in Raja melewar, IPG. Course, TESL... 9Bla msa lak aq appy tesl neyh, slh org kowt).Tp, i'm too late. Aq dh lmbt sminggu, so aq pun lek jer lah. Tp, mcm rsa tergerak ati nk bgtw kt mak aq..
"mak....ank mak bakal jdik cikgu, weewwwiiiiitttt.....tp, dh terlambat mak.jan sedyh tw...anak mak pown mmg tk plan nk g sna."
One day again, huhuuuuu....my mother told me that our neighbour said one week late still okay. Dengan perasaan yang bercampur baur, aq call pak cik aq....x nak...x nak...smbil kopek kelopak mawar merah(aq tipu part mawar merah).
"ko ckp btol2, nak ker x nak?"
.............................nak(x nak.....).............
On thursday, i'm landed on LCCT' airport. still confused.But, excited because i'm flying for two hours and a half across the laut china selatan.
Sebab aq x nak nngis dpn kwn2 aq, aq g senyap2.... Alhamdulillah, sempat lg aq g treasure hunt ari isnin tuh, first tyme n tersangat lah best....yiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I'm so sorry my frens...but...i just don't have the strength to tell u that i'm leaving.
It's time to say goodbye to science. chemistry. pharmacist. my dream....
Dengan perasaan yg x rela, aq duduk dlm klas tuh, nggooooo...what am i studying??? English!!!!! nightmare..nightmare.....u will become a teacher......ohooooooohhoooo....my biggest nightmare. 2 in 1!!!
Selama setahun setengah, aq asyik merungut, mendengus dan pelbagai lagi tindakan yg org x tahu nk bersyukur buat.....wandering n keep blaming for what had happened. but, never, even for a second, i reflected on my doings, particularly, niat aq. aq belajar sebab apa? nk berjaya dengan cemerlang dlm spm (typical answer). Yeah, u got it what u want. so, what else do u want huh?? kaaan....
...................
Aq dipertemukan dengan akak2 naqibah yang baek ati, concern ngan aq, tp aq buat dungu jer....keras giler ati aq...masa kt sna pown mcm tuh gak, msa PMR ngan SPM jer aq TAUBAT...hipkokrit giler....mcm la Allah tuh x tw....kaaaannn....
Bermula ngan usrah khusus, then proses mentarbiyyah diri, alkisah, bermula. Berkat usaha akak2 neyh, aq tertarik ati sket..sket jew, x byk...pelan2 aq merangkak. Kadang2 aq tersungkur, dan aq berhenti. Mungkin berkat doa mereka, Allah beri aq kekuatan, aq menyambung perjuangan...
Sebahagian teka-teki aq terjawab. Kenapa aq kt sni? sebab aq dh lma sgt lalai, Allah nk bgi peluang tok aq btolkan diri aq, mengenali Islam yang sebenar-benarnya. But, some pieces still missing. I kept searching. After one year and a half, i found it....
I, once, asked Allah, with all my heart hoping that my proficiency in English would become extremely good, excellent...super hyper POWER. The moment i found it. nk nangis....Owh Lord, what have i done. I'm so ashamed with myself.
On that day, i realized that u can't simply get something by praying and do nothing. it's nonsense. Sunnatullah(Hukum alam) yg x kan berubah smpai bila2. sape yg berusaha, dier akan berjaya. sape malas, RUGI.
Rasa mcm nk tampar2 jer pipi neyh. Biar sedar diri.
He answered my prayer and showed me the path, yet i'm just complaining, yelling, swearing...
Since,now i am awake, fully recovered from the sleepiness(btoi ka) and my eyes are widely opened, i will be the worthless person if i don't grab this chance.owh..no..no....
Still, there are pieces missing..but i will keep searching for it.
-semakin meningkat umur kita, semakin banyak yang kita belajar-(ustaz jQaf ambilan 2012)
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